LOVE transcends death

Your presence is undeniably felt;
With which has enigmatically summoned completeness beyond my emptiness.

You never left;
I just forget.

Am sorry for being so numb;
Am just being defensive.
Why?
Coz’ when I lost you, I thought it was the END!
Letting you go is the hardest attempt.

Today, the 27th of October is the day you left us.
Or should I say, the day you have embraced the light!
It was the saddest day in our lives;
But LOVE transcends death;
Your love has always been deeply sensed.

I thank the Lord, our Savior, for his unconditional LOVE.
He shared YOU to be the light of the family.
In return, YOU shared His Good News in our hearts and whole being.

Mama, we love you!
Please deliver our message as well to Papa.

Thank you for everything.

This FREAKIN’ show!

Heart beats with nervousness;
Has controlled my consciousness.
Eyes wide shut;
Breathing edgily.
Can’t move, seemed paralyzed;
Hands and feet tied;
On a human roulette perfectly designed.
The spot light blocks all images;
Just shadows with bullish cackles.
Yes, am back!
Back in this FREAKIN’ showground!
Damn, I hate this.

I do not need a clue;
Nor answers why I am back;
Anticipated events turned to be overwhelming.
Expectations met;
But hastiness devoured beyond desperately wanting to be out!

I should have sense it coming.
I thought it was the end;
The sensitivity of my actions;
Of my decisions;
Just delivered me to another performance!

What do I need to survive?
FAITH.
FOCUS.
CONTROL.

Yes, am back!
Back in this FREAKIN’ showground!
There is no turning back;
Besides, this time this show is mine.

ENJOY this FREAKIN’ show, ANYWAY!

I AM WHAT SOCIETY DICTATES…

I am hurt.
Deeply hurt.

Am I forever be bounded with other people’s
… dictating sarcasms
… demanding favors
… unreasonable excuses
… egotistical motives
… unjustifiable threats
… blah blah blah!

They say, we have been gifted with the freedom to choose our happiness.
But ironically, people are hypocrites; all knowingly admitting they understand what FREE WILL is but honestly they don’t! Action speaks louder than words... and words can make or break me!

Are these just my manifested destiny? Or am I just reaping Karmic reactions from what I have done in the past? Or am I just being pathetically reactive towards my environment allowing it to instantaneously inflict self-pain?

Yes, I am hurt.
Deeply hurt.
And no one should be blamed except MYSELF!

BEDTIME STORY

Natutulog. Naalimpungantan. Nagbasa para makatulog. Nagsulat pa. Ayun!

Reflect on this:
On a much grander scale, God’s offer to liberate us from the slavery of sin is often meet with resistance. When He rescued the children of Israel from Egypt, God took them through difficult places that caused them to doubt His good intentions. “Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?” they cried (Num. 14:3)

A quick stab of guilt left me crying profusely with “uhog and all” while I tried finishing today’s message from “Our Daily Bread”. Con todo emote talaga ang Lola mo parang isang eksena lang sa teleserye ni Marimar! Seriously, I cried because I felt so ashamed; I felt uncomfortable because all the while I was cheating Him; I felt that I have betrayed Him for being weak. I was in self denial but surrendered. Pasneya! I can’t deny the fact that I felt like I was there with the Israelites. I strongly accused myself for being guilty beyond reasonable doubt!

Ito kasi ang ginawa ng Lola mo:

Exhibit A

Ang dinadasal ~ “Lord, hinding-hind po ako bibitaw sa inyo bagkus gagamitin ko ang mga pagsubok na ito upang pagtibayin pa ang higpit ko sayo”! Tsk, tsk, tsk, tindi noh?

Exhibit B

Eto na si Pagsubok
a.(In relation to other) My advice would always stand by making sure their faith will not deteriorate because of life’s challenges ~ “Kaya mo yan! Just give all your worries to Him. Trust the Lord our Savior. Trust Him with all your heart” ~ Wow! Very good ata tayo diyan noh?

b.(In relation to thyself) ~ “Lord hindi ko ito kakayaning mag-isa, please lead my way. You are my light and my hope! ~ Naks, pede! Kaso parang naging sablay ang diskarte ng maramdaman ang isang matindi-tinding kurot ng problema. At dahil diyan, ang drama ng lola mo syempre ang ever reliable na “call a friend”!

“Ahuhuhu… I do not think I can handle this anymore, friend. Indi naman ako nagkulang sa pagdarasal pero bakit ganito? I really do not deserve this kind of treatment, ahuhuhu! Oh ano, sound family? Este familiar?

Yan ang mga makabagbag damdaming eksenang umiral sa utak ko habang tinatapos ko ang Good News mula sa nasabing libro.

Akala ko tapos na rin ang aking cry-lalooo-ekek! Ayaw pa rin palang paawat ang eksinadorang tear ducts ko at sinabing, “hep hep hep, wait there is more, aminin”!

Kasabay nang malakas na buhos ng ulan, ang eksenang pang-Famas na ang pinairal. Bakit sa anung kadahilanan?

The Final Statement

The realization:

I have accepted my breakdown
I am willing to learn from my mistakes
He never closes any door
He was always and all along walking beside me
ANG SARAP MARAMDAMAN ANG KANYANG DAKILANG PAGMAMAHAL!

Pagkatapos, ayun plakda na ang lola mo! Naghihihilik pa.

A B K D uR so KAKA!

(Yaya) Wow, galing naman ng alaga ko! Beri gud ah…

(Angelina) Wat-e-ever Yaya!

(Yaya) May napansin lang ako anu, parang wala na akong space na nakikita sa bahay natin.

(Angelina) Kasi Yaya, you don’t have an artistic sense of criticizing what is a True Work of Art. Di na baling mahirapan ka sa pagscrub ng wall natin, ang importante naging colorful sya. Ang importante natapos ko ang pinapagawa ni Mommie. I need to practice more para maging Best in Arts ulit ako. Gets mo?

(Yaya) pabulong na sinabi sabay labas ang usok sa ilong ~ Mukha mo… mukha mo… ang kukuskusin ko eh!

(Angelina) Oh Yaya, bakit parang sinasapian ka na naman. Mommieeeeeeeeeeee! Where is Yaya’s straitjacket? Sinasapian na naman sya.

(Yaya) Rarrr! Rarrr! Rarrr!

(Mommie) Oh Yaya! Bakit sumisigaw na naman itong si Angelina?

(Yaya) Ay wala po meym, nagkument lang naman po ako sa art work nya. Kasi po para bang OA sya, OA sa dami eh, mesyadu naman po ata siyang ginanahan!

(Mommie) Hayaan mo na Yaya, maganda na yan kaysa parati syang nakatunganga o pakalatkalat lng diba?

(Yaya) Ay uu nga meym, you are uhh so right anu. Sabi ko na nga eh!

(Angelina) Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! At dahil dyan, ito ang kanta ko sa iyo Yaya ~ A B K D… uR so KAKA Yaya, Wat-e-Ever! Bleh!

Don’t swallow that Phlegm if you want to get rid of it

Agoy… agoy… agoy… peste man ni uyyyyyyyy!

I can’t breathe normally :(

Help… Help… Help… cried my lungs.
Free me from bondage and I shall prove you false! Anu daw? Ehehe.
Nag-iinarte lang.

But honestly, I am in pain.
This thick, sticky, stringy, stinking mucus called Phlegm is killing me.
And if I will not give it proper attention, it will bring me innumerable diseases.

According to Mr. Google, when phlegm starts to get coughed up, it means that the substance has served its purpose and needs to be expelled. Spit that phlegm into a tissue rather than trying to swallow it (ewww!), because swallowing often times reintroduces the phlegm back into your pulmonary (lung) system.

The color, consistency and amount of chest mucus produced can be useful diagnostic tool to help your physician determine the cause. Yellow or greenish chest mucus is generally a symptom of infection and is often a sign that you should go to your doctor.

Chest mucus that contains blood is often a symptom of a more serious infection such as pneumonia or TB, and large amount of blood in the chest mucus should be seen as a medical emergency. Brown or gray colored mucous is indicative of smoking and is a sign that your body is trying to expel the harmful cigarette toxins (www.nativeremedies.com).

Ok, that was very informative.

I should go and see a doctor then, because as I examine it right now the consistency is thick and greenish, yuckieeeeee!

At dahil dyan may nagtext, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” from Henry de Bracton.
Naks, big time ka huh!

Moral Lesson: Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. ~ Author Unknown

Brain Dead … am no lunch for Zombies!

Brain Dead … am no lunch for Zombies!
Chuckles…

“Can I just be once in my dense life allow me to be indolent?” Que Horror, tantanan nyo ako!

Chuckles…

Listen. Reflect on this old saying, “daig ng masuwerteng tamad ang masipag”. Edi ba bongga! Perhaps if you follow it, you’ll be famous like Juan Tamad situated in all of our libraries and bookstores. Sikat ang lolo mo!

Chuckles…

6mins ago via Farmville… ching… ching… ching… 6 mins ago via Café World… ching… ching… ching… ayun oh! Kala mo busy sa trabaho, busy pala sa ibang bagay…ehehe! Huli ka!
Sorry naman, this is just my own way of distressing! Pagbigyan nyo na ako please :)

Chuckles…

Pakiusap, allow me to be indolent!
For how long will you let us wait?
I’ll let you know, tamad pa akong mag-isip ok!
One thing for sure, am no lunch for Zombies!

Chuckles…

Abangan ang susunod…